What Old Lovers Do

Old lovers do all the same things we do
Go for moonlit beach walks
Make love like tigers
Fast, purge and have cameras inserted in their rectums

I drove my Mom and Dad to the hospital today
Colonoscopy appointments for two
They would have taken a cab
But after two doses each of a laxative
Calibrated to empty and elephant in under an hour
They could not bear the risk of lingering explosion
I told them it was okay, really
But my dad put a plastic bag and a towel over the back seat
Before he got into the car

I drove carefully
Avoided jarring stops and swerves
As I pulled up to the big doors
Dad said, “Have you had your rear suspension checked?”
For a moment I thought…
Then I realized, he was actually talking about my car
“I think you have a problem with your struts,” he said
Then Mom and Dad scuttled under the awning
And disappeared
Into admissions

As I drove away
I thought, man, that’s really romantic
Dining on jello and juice together
Running to the bathroom together
Allowing the camera to go way, way up
Together
That’s what old lovers do

I drove to the gym
Hopped on a stationary bike
My lazy leaden legs did not want to move
But I thought
In the name of health
For the sake of living for each other, for me
My parents are opening their anuses
For some invasive intestinal spelunking
I can do my goddam workout
And somehow I found the WHUMP
To propel myself through the pushing and sweating
To stay alive
To stay alive

And there was music
I pictured David Cassidy, 18 years old
All hope and tender good intention
And I thought about my husband of 20 years
Is he still my David Cassidy?
Am I still his Marcia Brady?
I wasn’t sure
So I pedaled harder, faster
Until my thighs screamed
I think I love you
I think I love you
I think I love you!

And launched me through another day of workout, work, evening meeting
I made it home at nine
Hugged my kids
Asked my daughter if she’d drive her dad and me to our colonoscopy appointment
When we’re old lovers
She said that’s gross
I kissed my husband
Told him about my day
Told him my parents’ tests turned out A-OK
Together

He said, “I know,
That’s what old lovers do.”

question: David Cassidy?

mompoet - Marcia Brady