Thursday, May 05, 2005

Boring Part 3 - Boring is Power and Control

My Dad emailed me the correct spelling of Vaughan Palmer's name so I told him I wrote Van on purpose. I was modeling ignorant and overbearing, both wonderful attributes to boring conversation. I hope somebody got that part....or maybe it really was so boring that you didn't notice? Good.

Today's boring example, more detail than one person can possibly bear:

I went to the gym on Wednesday for my cycle class. I always choose bike number 24, except if somebody else gets to it before me. Most of the time I get bike 24. It's my favourite. I set up the heart rate monitor and adjusted the seat and the handlebars. I like the handlebars high and the seat high and all the way forward. I prefer the seat adjuster lever on bike 24 because it's the new kind that is an actual lever. The older bikes have a lift and slide mechanism that is not as reliable. With the lever, you can tighten it (approximately 2.5 turns for bike 24) and you can be sure that it is very tight and the seat will not slide back. I brought my water bottle with a purple lid which is also my favourite water bottle. It holds one litre of water if you leave 2.3 cm headspace. If you fill it completely to the top, it holds just a fraction more than one litre of water. I put the water bottle into the water bottle holder on the bike. Some people put their water bottles on the handlebars. I like to use the water bottle holder. The water bottle holder on bike 24 is the perfect fit for my water bottle with the purple lid that holds just a little more than 1 litre when I completely fill it. I clipped the foot pedals on. I like the foot pedals on bike 24. They do not creak and the clip mechanism is very reliable. On some of the other bikes, the clips come undone, or need to be readjusted which is distracting. I just like to clip the pedals on and be done with it. It takes me approximately 20 seconds to get both clips done up tight. I position my foot on each pedal about 5cm back from the front of the cage, which is set up to accommodate large feet. When I began to pedal, I noticed that the bike mechanic must have adjusted the flywheel tension on bike 24. Flywheel tension is the most important thing about a bike. When you know your tension, you can regulate the resistance very reliably and quickly, and with ease of adjustment. Bike 24 usually adjusts to 20% max load at 2 clicks and 100% at 6 clicks, which is not a lot. Many of the bikes have a range of 8-10 clicks to get to maximum, so bike 24 is already relatively tight in its flywheel adjustment. Interestingly, at maximum tension, bike 24 is not immovable. I know this because we put on full tension to still the wheel for calf stretches at the end of the class, and bike 24's pedals budge even when the tension is torqued on pretty hard. But yesterday, when I sat down to pedal I noticed that 20% tension was on at 1 click, 50% at 2 clicks and 100% at about 4 clicks, which is much tighter than usual. The shorter range from minimum to maximum allowed for fewer fine adjustments and made gradual increases and decreases in tension very challenging. You can adjust between clicks, but it's very distracting. To make things worse, once the tension was clicked on, I found it very difficult to release. The lever is relatively small, probably so it will not get in the way during the exercise session, but that also provides less leverage. Normally on bike 24, releasing the tension is very easy. Yesterday I found it very difficult, which is unusual, like I said. I found that the only way I could release the tension lever was to brace my hand on the upright above the flywheel and squeeze the lever closed with my thumb. All other methods yielded no results and/or irritated my tendonitis in my elbow, and that is very distracting.

Okay, you get the idea. Who cares about bike 24???? But there it is. Too much information is also boring.

Too much information-type boring is sometimes the kind of boring that people use to control conversations. Think of it as a filibuster. Combined with a dull and unrelenting delivery, this approach is very effective at just shutting down what anybody else has to say. The poor listener can't get a word in, and the monotony of the monologue has a hypnotic effect. When I figured this out, I understood that there is a secret power to boring. Use it wisely, Grasshopper.

question: Can you stand another day of this? because I have a theory about why people are bored...

mompoet - as usual, tripping past enough to someplace in excess of enough

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