This is a takeoff on the true story about the plan to arm the Skytrain Police.
A bunch of people got all irate and phoned the talk-back line to protest the aquabus plan. One lady gave dire warnings of market-goers caught in the crossfire of harbour shoot-em-ups.
I thought it wasn't such a bad idea. Taken a littler farther yet, we could be safe in every part of our lives:
- Arm school crossing guards to ensure that motorists really do stop when they're told to.
- Arm the cashiers at Safeway so they can deal with people who bring more than 15 items into the express lane.
- Arm the concession stand workers at the movie theatre so we won't take so long to decide whether we want butter or margarine on our popcorn.
- Arm McDonalds servers. YES! We will have fries with that!
- Arm the ice cream truck driver. Mom will buy popsicles for everyone, everytime.
- Arm librarians. No more eating in the carrals, and everyone will remember to bring their library cards and turn off their cell phones, or else.
mompoet - April Fools spectator only