Sunday, October 15, 2006

I could cry for one hundred days

all of the cakes, baked partway, collapsed and discarded
the late-dawning mud clots, slumped outside my window
the bite-down-hard nuggets of resignation
shame parading as forgetfulness
neglected intentions, accumulating like overdue fines
for unread library books
hurts endured, inflicted and ignored
the shortcuts that never tasted as sweet as I thought they would
the whole damn list that I have chewed, swallowed
spit out and written down again

all of these things would come squeezing out, sour and hot
my disappointment in myself
wetting my lap, leaving me soggy-sleeved and empty
snow-blind and pretending

I could cry and cry and go on living
cry while I sleep
cry while I eat
cry at work and in the car
cry talking to my children
walking the dog
making love
washing the dishes

at the end of one hundred days
I would shovel damp tissues into the trash
wring out my sodden sleeves
change into dry pants
and begin the next one hundred

because I simply don’t know what else
I can do.

Question: could you?

mompoet - the rain came today


mompoet said...

Dear neighbours who read my blog. Thank you for the soup and the muffin and the kind, concerned phone call. I am okay. This is a sad poem, but not about a current crisis. It's more about the everyday sadness that is always present, and the potential for tapping into that and going with it. I am in a process of acknowledging and making peace with sadness. Most of the time I am still the big hokey goof who you know very well. Thank you for your love

Lazy Daisy said...

Wow, Sue, I have lived there too many times before. You nailed it babe! The land of regrets, should haves, and why didn't I?

There is also great sadness in humanity...(ie shooting at the Amish school, nuclear tests in North Korea, not to mention Aids, starvation and poverty.)

According to Country and Western signer Jodi Messina...."The devil's been so busy lately...That even God must gets the Blues."

Loved your poem....I so get it!