when you are sad

don’t cry salt-cracker tears into your gumbo
or slug-track your sleeves with someone else’s glue
don’t pop a cork into your blowhole, then hop up and down until you implode
don’t pick up a stick to snap the piñata that’s been mocking your misery

try something else unrelated
like building your very own HOV lane rangoli
with marigold mandalas and asymmetrical heaps of coloured rice
just moments ahead of the serious onset of concrete mixers
or maybe just an unfortunately paced SUV
it doesn’t matter

draw a duvet on the sidewalk and fall into it
pull it up around your elbows and let the feathers tickle your tarantula
look the sun square in the eye and ask it to explain photosynthesis
then laugh and say, “Yeah right, like YOU know anything about it!”

calculate a sonata for kazoo and cantaloupe
play it backwards and listen for the secret meaning
challenge cause and effect to an umbrella wrestle
use a mental detector to find your inner rubber chicken and take it for a gallop around the pond

understand that beauty and sadness are both absurd as sardine smiles
arbitrary as antelopes
that they have an uncanny knack of showing up in clumps like stray gnus
always at the wrong place and the wrong time
without reservations, and inappropriately dressed

it’s likely that none of this will help you feel better
so what? try something else
you can be sure the same thing that didn’t work yesterday
won’t work today
you might as well enjoy some silliness while you wait for next geranium candelabra to arrive