Wednesday, December 21, 2005

How I spent my Christmas Vacation

Today I tried to vacuum but the vacuum didn't suck. I love saying that.

I discovered the "not sucking" day before yesterday and I thought I had solved the problem by washing and drying the filters (it has 3) and unclogging the carpet sweeper head with a straightened out coathanger. But it turns out that the filters and sweeper head were not the source of the problem. There was something plugging the hose. This I discovered by detaching the hose with a screwdriver and blowing on one end and nothing moved - like when you're checking for an airway while doing CPR. I couldn't fathom doing a head-tilt chin-pull to the vacuum cleaner so I got the coat hanger and started to dig. There was definitely something smack in the middle of the hose, which I could barely reach and could not budge.

About that time, my friend Irene phoned. I told her I hoped she didn't mind, but I was going to continue unclogging the vacuum cleaner hose while we talked. She was okay with that. By the way, does anyone else have a code of acceptable "things to do while talking on the phone?" For me, loading the dishwasher, folding laundry, cooking, tidying up are all okay. Going pee, eating and reading a book are not. Watching TV while on the phone is definitely not okay. And talking on two phones at the same time is also not okay.

But I digress. So Irene and I are talking and I'm jamming this straightened out coathanger with a hook that I made at one end using pliers to dig into the clog in the middle of the vacuum cleaner hose, first from one end, then the other, with no progress whatsoever, for 15 or twenty minutes. I tried massaging the hose and drilling the pointy end of the coat hanger into the middle of the clog. Nothing seemed to make a difference. Finally, while Irene was telling me about Christmas emails, this gigantic bulge started to move towards me from the middle of the tube - like a boa constrictor swallowing a rabbit or something. Wooooooo! Out came a piece of Christmas tree branch and about a dog and a half worth of hair, first in one big clump, then about 8 more assorted fluff-clots after. No wonder it wouldn't suck!

I told Irene that I got it out, and we finished our conversation with promises to forward good emails to one another. Then I vacuumed the gunk back up and it went through this time, but I put the bit of tree into the trash. I think that's what started the jam in the first place.

So that's what I did today. Festive, cathartic, social and constructive, all in one experience. Yaaay. Happy solstice.

question: what's on your list of OK and Not-OK to do while chatting on the phone?

mompoet - free-flowing


J. Andrew Lockhart said...

I wrote my solstice poem - and my vacuum sucks

mompoet said...

I'm heading over to your blog to read it now.

Carol said...

Hi Mompoet,
Yes, I have a definite list.
Not while on phone-vacuuming (but fixing it would be okay), going to bathroom (big nono),paying bills, well the list goes on...