Tuesday, November 02, 2004

November Resolutions

It's a good time to start new things in November. September is just too distracting with things that have to start at that time. January is too cliche and inclined to guilt and denial type resolutions. My birthday is at the end of the month, so there's a natural milestone here for me. Last year I began weight-lifting on November 15. Three years ago I was baptized in November. I'm pondering whether I should start something new, or give up something I don't need anymore now that my arbitrary fresh page month has come again.

If I could put my finger on one thing I would like to change in my life right now, it's that I'm so darned busy. I am scheduled up from 6am until 9 or 10 most nights. Most of it is stuff that I love to do, and that I believe does some good in the world. But almost every day I feel like I am neglecting many of my commitments by rushing past and through things without stopping to listen, reflect, savour. The outcome of this is that I look back on yesterday or last week or a few hours ago and wish I'd done something differently. Maybe if I had taken a bit more time to consider and actually be there when it was happening, I would not have so many small regrets.

Maybe also I am addicted to experience. How can I say no to things that will be interesting, challenging, stimulating, beneficial to me and to others? I have this amazing energy and don't often feel tired. When I try to sit down and breathe out, I just bounce up again and start doing something. I have a really good on/off switch, but sometimes a dimmer switch would be mighty useful. You should see my husband and kids, snuggled up watching tv, talking to the cat, reading a book, and I'm writing/charging up and down the stairs/talking on the phone/cooking/cleaning/organizing/repairing. Then I run out the door. They must think I'm nuts, and I know they wish I'd stop and sit down with them more. I am hard to trap. I do sleep very well and instantly every night. Six or 7 hours seems to do me just fine during the week. I grab a couple extra on the weekend, but I get to thinking about things I could be doing, and BOING! I'm up.

And in case you know me very well and you are wondering. I had my thyroid level checked last month and it is perfectly normal. It seems I am definitely well now, and medication-free for one whole year. So it's really and truly me charging around like this - not the disease.

If you have any suggestions about a concrete or introspective step that I could take as my November resolution, drop me a line. I like things pretty much the way they are, but why settle for over-the-moon when over-and-over the moon and stars and Mars is a possibility? Or is that the kind of thinking that got me into this happy mess?

Question: see above

mompoet - always in development

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