Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Anyone can do Anything if He or She Knows ehow

I was doing a web search for summer camp themes and stumbled across the funniest website I've seen in a few days. I just love its ambition and cheery pragmatism. Gosh, there's a 7 bullet answer to any problem. For example:

My dog is having puppies right now. What can I do?

I have a sudden yearning to write a sestina. I wonder how to do that?

My reputation is besmirched. I need a quick and easy way to restore my good name.

I like Robert, but he just ignores me when I try to makes friends. I'll do anything to get him to like me!

The best parts are the chippy little tips at the end of each short instruction list. Guess which tip goes with which problem...

  • If companionship is your goal, consider a dog. They're better company and more reliable than a person whose friendship can be bought.
  • Mention the rumors in a direct but nonconfrontational way: "Burt, I heard that some folks think I am having an affair with Helen in graphics. I'm sure you know there's no truth to the matter."
  • Stage two of labor begins with full dilation of the cervix and ends with full delivery of the first puppy. Stage three begins after delivery of the first puppy and ends with the expulsion of the placenta.
  • Do not be discouraged by peers claiming to be poets. When you hear a poet say how much he or she dislikes writing in form, remember that a great artist sees the opportunities in every canvas, regardless or shape or size. A poor artist sees only the limitations.
No more worrying about life's problems, big or small. Just consult ehow.com

Question: No need, I can ask ehow!

mompoet - stepping toward Stepford

2 comments:

Smallman said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hey nice info you posted.
I just browsing through some blogs and came across yours!

Excellent blog, good to see someone actually uses em for quality posts.

Your site kept me on for a few minutes unlike the rest :)

Keep up the good work!

Thanks!.