Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I always thought "blurts" were good

Low impulse control. Sometimes it's something of a problem, but I like it. I like it when I'm comfortable enough to just say something a millisecond before I even know I'm thinking it. Sometimes I regret my blurts but mostly they are funny, and because I have a good heart and generally good intentions, they are rarely hurtful. Blurts are often my source of creativity. Some preposterous idea will just burble up at a random moment and I will look at it and I will say "I LOVE YOU!" I embrace the blurt, live with it for a while. If I'm lucky it grows into something that's worth keeping and sharing. If not, it's another one of those private jokes that I have with myself, that cause me sometimes to walk around with a distracted grin and giggle to myself for no apparent reason.

In The Artist's Way, Julia Cameron uses the term "blurt" to describe negative self-messages that pop out when we are trying to believe in ourselves as creative beings. My negative self messages say things like: "Everything you do is inexcusably derivative" and "You just say that because you think the other person wants you to say that." My blurts mostly centre on accusations that I am not authentically creative. They tell me that I am a bad photocopy, rather than an original when it comes to making art. I'm using some of the techniques in the book to work on those blurts, and help know what to do with them when the arrive uninvited.

In the meantime, I'm hanging on to the positive meaning of "blurt." I think the time for thinking is in the revising process. If I overthink and planfully plan my creative stuff before I let it out, I reject everything before it's born. I must fart first, embroider later.

I have decided there are two kinds of blurts:

blarts (the bad, nasty negative kind) and
blyruts (the juicy, embarassing, exciting, wild, consciousness revealing kind that I like)

So if you see me walking around with a lopsided smile and tears in my eyes, with loose glips and bliggles escaping. If I bump into a lamp post and don't even notice, you'll know I am focusing on the blyruts, and the blarts are two lengths behind me and won't catch up.

question: do you blurt? if so, what kind?

mompoet - was that too personal?


Lazy Daisy said...

Girlfriend you are definitely an original...You must laugh all day long at your blurts. I love your expressions....I have been known to say really preposterous things to some very shocked faces...that's when I usually ask, "I didn't just say that out loud did I?"

Loved the "I must fart, before I can embroider!" Rock on!

mompoet said...

I thought you were a woman after my own heart, Daisy. Lucky thing our friends and family "get" us, huh? Thanks for your encouragement.