mompoet gets grumpy

"Maybe you're pregnant." Yes, my husband whispered that to me - just to further rile me up, I suspect, because today I am grumpy. I am inexplicably grumpy. It began when I woke up at 6:30 and couldn't get back to sleep for that last half hour, thinking about going early to church, to set up for communion. So I got up.

Good thing.

We had heard the dog thumping around frantically sometime around 4:30 or 5am. I found out why. There was poo on the landing down to the basement, and on the stairs, and in the basement hallway at the bottom of the stairs. A lot of poo. Enough for 2 or 3 dogs, all pooing prolifically for 4 or 5 days. I am not exaggerating. For a moment, I thought someone had let a lot of pooing dogs into my house, but it was just our one dog, and a lot of poo. So there I am in my pajamas. I cleaned up the mess, got out the carpet cleaning machine and carpet-shampooed at 6:45am. Yes. Good start.

The dog went outside while I did this, then came back inside for breakfast. I had already fed the cat but she started yelling at me MEOW MEOW MEOW. I was not in the mood for MEOW MEOW MEOW. I was in the mood for quiet, and coffee and porridge and newspaper. I did not like having damp pajama cuffs and slippery wet feet, and the odd feeling that they were not entirely clean damp, having walked around on the wet carpet during cleaning (did I mention that the dog also peed?)

So I had a shower and when I came out, the dog was moving furniture around in the dining room to get to the cat's dish on the dining room window sill, and the cat was sitting on the dining room table. I did my best impression of a grizzly bear. It did not make a dent in their obnoxiousness. The cat just slunk around under the table saying MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW and the dog tried to act all adorable so I would give her a carrot. I let her out again and she wisely lay down in the garden and stayed out of my grumpy way for while.

It occurred to me as I dressed for church, that I might be receiving a message. I have been cursing a bit lately, specifically, saying "CRAP," when I am angry. Well, maybe I got what I was calling for, really and truly and in prodigious quantity. I resolved to say "darn it" from now on, instead of "crap." Maybe I'll get a hole in my sock from saying that, but hopefully that's all.

I slunk through the morning in a grumpy funk. At church I was unreasonably impatient when the communion servers discussed whether to wear sterile gloves to serve the bread and wine. Gosh, we are all concerned about this new H1N1 virus, but can't we just wash our hands and not sneeze on anyone? I wisely stepped aside. I was just the preparer of the elements, after all. The servers could decide what to do about germs. I was glad to see that they decided against the gloves.

After church, I had to stop at the bank machine. The "ding-dong" door chime in the bank machine vestibule annoyed me. Andy made a joke and I told him it was not even remotely funny. What a grumpy grump.

Now I am trying to cheer up. Looking my grumpiness in the eye is a start. I have also taken a few steps, physical, psychological and spiritual to overcome my grumpies.

• I prayed (about grumpies, not curse-word subjects)
• I drank coffee
• I made a salad for lunch
  
• I listened to Ella Fitzgerald (still am)
• I hit a bag of frozen mozzarella cheese with a hammer
• I lay down on my bed and looked at the ceiling
• I talked to a friend on the phone
• I told Andy I was grumpy (which was self evident, and although he did make the pregnancy crack, he did not point out how obvious my mood revelation was)
• I petted the cat and dog and told them they were lovely even if they are sometimes annoying
• I drank water
• I blogged

So there we are. I am still moderately grumpy, but this too shall pass.

question: what do you do when you are grumpy?

mompoet - grumpus prunklefunkuss