Nelson is coming home

Here are some messages I have exchanged with my friend Stacie Boschma, who lives in Decatur, Georgia. Stacie, a poet, visited Vancouver in August, while she was on tour. When she featured at the Vancouver Poetry Slam, I introduced her to Nelson, my pet plastic rat. Nelson asked if he could tour with Stacie and she said yes. Since then, he has traveled around the US with her, and has spent the winter living at her place.

Here are the messages:

Mompoet to Stacie

Hi Stacie,

I'm still looking forward to your visit, and hoping your summer is starting out fruitful and vegetableful.

In the meantime, my husband and I have planned a trip to Mexico for our 25th anniversary on Aug 12. We're flying out of Vancouver on the 8th. We'd love to take Nelson with us. Is there any way he could come home to Vancouver in time to travel with us?

Hope you are well, and Nelson is not redecorating your veranda with dream catchers and fuzzy dice (he has dubious taste in interior decorating).

sue

Stacie to Mompoet

I told Nelson about the Mexico trip and he squealed, rat like, at the adventure of the idea. And then we sat down for a heart to heart about us, our long travels together and all those meandering conversations about the vagaries of love and romance. The truth is that Nelson's wanderlust has been nipping at his heels, and I've seen the way he watches the sunrise through my window. He's a sweet one, never demanding to go, but I feel the way our relationship has changed, and I know there's no holding Nelson back from the wide world he can't stop exploring.

So we sipped coffee from our differently sized mugs and let nostalgia sweep us back to the early morning drive through Arkansas, the bright lights of Portland, the dusty landscape of California's desert. It was good to revisit the places and to remember the hurt and the joy of it all. He's my favorite tour mate yet, and I love him enough to cheer all the journeys ahead of him. Wherever I go, Nelson will be with me, and wherever he goes, he'll go with my fondest wishes.

I'll stow him into some appropriate container and hide him away in a Vancouver-bound train or plane, and trust that he finds his way home safe. There's a great big world out there, and no one knows that better than Nelson, intrepid traveler, and a fine plastic friend.

Mompoet to Stacie

Thank you Stacie! Thank you so much!

Your message made my day. I'm not sure which is better, knowing that Nelson is coming home, or that your time together has meant so much to both of you.

Thank you for giving Nelson the gifts of the road and your love, and for giving me the gift of appreciating our little rat friend the way you do.

sue


So Nelson will be home in time to travel with us again. Stacie will visit Vancouver in the Fall, so it's not good-bye forever.

question: who is your favourite traveling companion?

mompoet - tickled by the image of two differently-sized coffee cups

more news from Nelson

Last time I posted something about our intrepid, world-traveling, plastic rat, Nelson, it was to indicate that I was pretty sure he is gay. After an encouraging and supportive night at Auntie Myrna's, Nelson came home with fuchsia toenails, a pierced ear, a green satin bow and a note that says "There's something I've been meaning to tell you..." We all think it's great that Nelson is gay (if that is the case - we're deducing), and we've been telling our friends how he's a whole new rat these days.

Then on Sunday, Kirsi (who recently took Nelson with her to Ireland), came out of the house with something (someone?) she found in her suitcase. It looks as if Nelson has offspring. Now this doesn't rule out Nelson also being gay. Some of the best and most devoted parents I know are gay or lesbian. It also doesn't prove conclusively that Nelson is female. Nelson could be a single parent dad too (one who likes fuchsia and an ear stud). I tried checking out Nelson's private parts for a clue, but he does not appear to have any. Baby Nelson has a rectangular shaped cavity in his/her belly where any normal organs would reside, and also an imprint "made in China" which further confuses things. How did baby get from China to Ireland? Or, when was Nelson cavorting in China and we didn't know about it? Alternatively it could be an overseas adoption situation. Nelson just won't say.

So now we have a big rat and a little rat. They both like to travel, that I know for sure. I am concerned about little one's obviously hollow abdominal cavity. We may have to get him/her on the organ donor waitlist soon.

question: what's the story, morning glory?

mompoet - guessing the tale, nightingale

Nelson's Big Day Out

Nelson the rat has been watching us coming and going all Christmas. From his place of honour on the "Santa shelf" he has seen us heading out the door to parties, shows, suppers, shopping and all manner of exciting events. On Thursday morning he was looking a bit sad so I asked him what was the matter? He told me that he wanted to come too.

So we took Nelson with us on our busy and fun day. We began at Grandma and Grandpa's house (my mom and dad). They served us our traditional Christmas/Hannukah lox and bagels breakfast. Fiona made Nelson a little paper yarmulke in honour of the occasion.

Next we did some shopping, but Nelson waited in the car because he doesn't have any money, and people get alarmed when you have a rat in your grocery cart. After that we met Louise and Sam and Robin and Emma at Capitol Hill Szechuan for lunch. Nelson could not believe how much fun that turntable is that moves the dishes around the table. But I think he got a little carsick from riding around on it. If you look closely you can see he dropped his hat and scampered out of the picture just before I snapped. Nelson's fortune cookie advised him to keep his nose to the ground and stay out of holes. This was especially appropriate with the suffix "in bed" added. The kids thought that was very funny.

After lunch we went skating. I offered to loan Nelson one of my skates, but he preferred to sit on the sidelines and watch the Zamboni. He asked Al for a ride on the Zamboni, but Al says only the mayor gets to do ridealongs. Nelson says he will run for mayor next time.

Back at home, Nelson helped me set up the carport for the annual "sit in the carport after Christmas and drink hot mulled wine and feed all of our leftover cookies and chips to the kids" party. Nelson liked the mulled wine, although he's not partial to allspice. He stayed away from the chips, but the declared the shortbread perfect. After a nosh, he chatted with Kirsi and Karen for a bit, and I think he's now invited to a New Year's Eve Party.

The party ended about 7:30 and we came inside. Nelson said it was the best day he has ever had.

question: have you taken your rat out on the town lately?

mompoet - some of my best friends are plastic rodents

Nelson is touring with poets

Last night, at the Vancouver Poetry Slam, Decatur Georgia poet, Stacie Boschma rocked the house with her performance. Stacie's poetry is the kind I like: direct and honest, telling stories about real-life situations, revealing truth and beauty with humour, intelligence and heart. She started out with "Freedom," remembered by many of us who saw her perform it at the Women's Showcase at iWPS 2007 in Vancouver, then segued to others including "The View from Gotham" (the Batman poem), "Pineapples," and "Love in the Key of Panda." Stacie was appreciated tremendously by the packed-house audience. We hope she'll return soon. In the meantime, I bought her CD, Happy Rainbow Poems from the Unicorn Petting Zoo and The Shout Rainbows EP.

I first met Stacie at iWPS07, where she performed and volunteered. We've been in touch by blog, email and facebook since. I was hoping we might get her to visit Port Moody, but she and her friends Hollin and Arrie had to leave their three beloved dogs in the US because they did not have the complicated paperwork required to bring the dogs across. So on Canadian performance days they have been border-hopping so as not to neglect their canine companions.

I have known Stacie to be a lover of animals since I met her. She has shown a special enthusiasm for our pet plastic rat, Nelson, who has travelled quite a lot in the past couple of years. I have told Nelson about Stacie, and he asked if he could come to the slam to meet her. You can imagine how excited Nelson was when I asked Stacie if she would take the rat on the road to share adventures with her and Hollin and Arrie and the dogs. He was grinning from whisker to whisker! So Nelson will be away for a time. We know he'll have a spectacular adventure, and we hope he'll write to us once or twice and maybe send a photo. We're grateful to Stacie for packing him along. I have told Nelson to be polite and not eat all of Stacie's potato chips (or if he does, to pretend it was the dogs).

If you would like to catch up on some of Nelson's adventures, here's a compilation of my Nelson blog posts.

question: where would you take Nelson, if you could?

mompoet - happy to see my gypsy rat doing what he likes best

the further adventures of Nelson the rat

Nelson will soon go to Egypt. My friend Diana McNamara told me that her cousin Janet will soon travel to Africa. Janet's husband is running in a cross-desert foot race in the Sahara. Diana told Janet about Nelson, the traveling plastic rat, and Janet invited him to come along.

Diana facebooked me Janet's work phone number and I went to Janet's work yesterday afternoon. She's a hair stylist at Stylin' Divas in Port Moody, which is about a kilometer from my house. So I know that this is in the stars for Nelson to go to the Sahara with Janet.

I bid Nelson farewell in a funky basement salon and left him Janet's care. She promised him that she will take him on a camel ride.

Janet and her husband will be back in early November. I'll post the photos when I get them. Janet says Nelson's pedicure is very nice. I'm hoping that before or after (or during) the trip, he might get styled up by Janet and the ladies at Stylin' Divas. Nelson likes to be styled. Yup he does.

question: have you been to the desert?

mompoet - wishing Nelson a happy time and saying thank you to Diana and Janet

his name is not Nelson

He wants to go to Nelson, and so far, no ride. But he's sitting on Andy's abandoned motorcyle looking roguish, so who knows? I will take a motorcyle photograph of him in the morning when it is only murky in the back of the carport, as opposed to pitch blank like it is right now. Not-Nelson blends in completely with pitch, except for his little red eyes.

And I'm back to blogging about nothing, after 4 computerless days (new power-supply needed). I do not blog at the office because I fear that it would be the first step towards total wastage of city work-time. I think of it like when I leave the trick-or-treat candy bag factory-sealed until the first knock on the door. If I don't start, I will be okay. Same rule applies for potato chips and donuts - just say no. Red wine, mind you, well, that's another story...

But more about Not-Nelson. I will have to get to work on helping him get out of town. My friend Cathy suggested I choose a random name from the City of Nelson phone directory and Canada Post him to that person with a request for a home, and maybe future travel. I think that's cool, but it would also be fun to take him to the Greyhound Station and leave him with a note attached, requesting a ride-along in someone's bag, or maybe abandon him at the airport - no - bad idea. I might get picked up by security cameras and get detained on suspicion of depositing an incendiary device. RAT BOMB!

Sometimes when I go for a walk I leave a penny where I think someone will surely find it, then I check it every time I pass. It is remarkable how long a penny will stay in one spot. Weeks sometimes, once for months in the winter. I wonder how long Not-Nelson would stay if I left him at the bus stop or West Coast Express station?

Poor Not-Nelson. He probably just wants to go sleep in the attic. But he can't tell me. He's a plastic rat-bomb and he can't talk.

question: how can Not-Nelson get out of town?

mompoet - wasting time on my own penny

Nelson is back

Some time late this afternoon, Nelson returned. He was waiting outside the door at supper time so I let him in. Now he is sitting on my kitchen counter. I'll wait for a clue from him about whether he wants to travel or stay home. He's pretty quiet about his adventure, but I think he liked Victoria.

I'm grateful that he got to go on this journey with a kindly neighbour. I am still working out the clues as to who it might have been. I think maybe that he found a family who has a dog, because Nelson does like dogs and also I noticed a blanket in the photo of the inside of the vehicle. I also think that he must have been hanging out with at least one vegetarian. As well, I think he found a family that is, like him (and me), left of centre politically. Now if I could just figure out why I hear rock and roll guitar echoes when I hold Nelson up to my ear, then I'd know for sure who he was with.

question: what next for Nelson?

mompoet - Oh, I have decided to call him by his middle name, as he did in his letter to me from Victoria. His full name is Not Nelson Ratzenwagger. Nelson for short.

Nelson in love

Our friends Robin, Ralph and Emma brought their new friend Petunia to our house the other night. Nelson says it was love at first sight.

We are sure of this because Nelson told us so. Up until now we have communicated with Nelson only by observing his actions, engaging in mental telepathy, and through occasional (albeit lengthy) letters with accompanying photographs. The night that Nelson met Petunia he uttered his first real sound, a faint and breathy squeal. This occurred when Emma showed us that Petunia has a squeaker in her tummy. "Oh, but Nelson does not!" we insisted. Upon Emma's urging, we tried, and discovered that Nelson has a voice. Of course, it is not a squeaker in his tummy. It is a song of love.

question: what sound do you make when your tummy is squeezed?

mompoet - not squeezing too hard

Nelson's Epiphany - Part 1

On Saturday night Nelson and Tallulah came with me to Myrna's place. It was Myrna's last weekend before beginning her new job, so all of the ladeez came to celebrate. We often invite Nelson (the plastic rat), and he insisted that Tallulah (the banana guard) join us.

What a perfect night. Nelson got into the party mood and showed Tallulah the joys of swinging in the chandelier.

Then we went out to the deck where we activated a glowstick and lit Tallulah up in the darkness. She is a thing of beauty with a yellow glowstick inside.

Myrna is such a splendid host, she made us all feel so welcome and comfortable. When I left at midnight, Nelson and Tallulah had decided to stay over. They were back in the chandelier when I said goodbye. And it must have turned out to be quite a night.

Tomorrow I will tell you what I know of Nelson's night with Tallulah at Auntie Myrna's house. For now, you must wait.



question: what do you suppose happened?

mompoet - I have a story to tell...

Ratty the baby rat returns too!

Dear friend Cathy wrote on my facebook wall on Friday:

"Unbelievabley Good News .... Baby Rat has come home too! Susan, you know how bad I felt telling you that Baby Rat had been taken .... I tore my suitcase apart. Terry, took down suitcases for our trip ..... and he found Baby Rat! Somehow he made his way back from Nova Scotia to Port Moody in two years! I wonder if I was so stressed about thinking I lost him that I didn't see him against the black lining ... yet I know we've used the suitcases since! I am elated ... I can only imagine your level of happiness!"

A couple of years ago, Cathy took Nelson and Ratty to the Maritimes for a vacation. On the way home, Ratty disappeared. We thought maybe he defected, or was abducted, or just went on his own Ratty way. Nelson was consoled only by a brief but healing romance with Petunia the albino rat. Now Ratty has returned! Cathy found him in her suitcase when she began packing for a trip to Las Vegas.

Nelson, Ratty and Cathy are so happy they are celebrating. Nelson and Ratty will join Cathy on the trip to Vegas. This is a special treat because I have vowed never to go to Las Vegas. So this is Nelson and Ratty's chance.

Watch for photos from the big giant place in the desert. Thanks Cathy for finding our little baby rat friend, and for taking him and Nelson along with you on your vacation. Thanks also to Terry, Karen and Wayne who will share hospitality with our little rodent friends. (hint: don't let them near the slot machines!)

question: what do you think happened to baby rat? was he in the suitcase all this time, or is the story more interesting?

mompoet - reunited

Nelson is going to Ireland Today

I was sitting in my pajamas blogging about iWPS, when the phone rang. Kirsi is leaving this morning for a two-week visit with her friend Della in Ireland. She wanted me to bring Nelson over to her house so he can go with her to Ireland.

I ran over there in my pajamas and slippers, and managed to snap a photograph of Nelson just about to go into Kirsi's suitcase. Doesn't he look happy? The shot is a little blurry because I had to get the camera out of my frozen car, and the lens kept fogging up.

I think Kirsi will have a wonderful time in Ireland. Nelson is a lucky, lucky rat. Thank you Kirsi. Bon voyage Nelson.

nelson is back

My friend Diana's cousin Janet took Nelson with her to Egypt, to watch her husband run a race in the Sahara Desert. This is Nelson's first visit to Africa.

Here are some photographs, taken by Janet, who reports that the security guards at the Luxor airport insisted on looking at Nelson, then laughed and offered to buy him. The lady at the airport is Marc and Janet's friend Lara. The beautiful building is the Cairo Museum. The sandy shots are at the race site, where it was 50 degrees out.

question: where would you go, if you were a plastic rat?

mompoet - thank you for not selling Nelson to the security guard, and for taking him with you on your trip, Janet!

Nelson's Vacation

Nelson the rat just got his photos back from Costco. Here he is with Mr. Disney and Mickey Rat. Thank you Kirsi, Allan, Jesse and Nolan, for taking Nelson with you to Disneyland. Thanks especially for bringing him back.

question: where would you take Nelson?

mompoet - (shhhh. Don't tell Nelson about the "mouse" thing.)

au revoir Nelson!

I am over the moon with joy and excitement. Just got an email from Kirsi, who's leaving with her family tomorrow morning for Disneyland:

Susan, Nelson is really excited, he won't go to sleep. I told him to calm down and sleep or he might spend the week with FRITZ ( in the cage, aaaaaahhhhh!!!!)

Kirsi is taking Nelson the rat to Disneyland. I told Nelson we would take him with us in August, then I forgot. I have been feeling so guilty. Now he will go on an airplane (his first trip on a plane) and have a great weekend. We'll take care of Fritz at home.

Thank you, my friends, for making Nelson's dream of the magic kingdom come true. He'll calm down if you rub his belly and give him some potato chips. He likes honey dijon the best.

question: what is your favourite chip flavour?

mompoet - glad that honey-dijon is available only in Sechelt - right??

Nelson's great weekend

Nelson is happy to be home. He had some fun with us this weekend. He accompanied Dad and me on a walk along the Burnaby Lake trail, and shared a sushi lunch with us (Dad's belated Father's Day treat from me). Later, Nelson joined the Shoreline chapbook group for supper and a meeting at Helmi and Fred's place in Whonnock. On Saturday, he shopped at the Richmond Night Market with some silly girls.

I think Nelson leads a rat's life, which appears to be a most excellent life indeed.

question: If you were a rat, where would you like to go? and with whom?

mompoet - happy to be with my little ratty friend

Nelson is restless

This morning when I went out to get the newspaper from the driveway, I found Nelson the rat in between the screen door and the front door. I think he's trying to tell me something. I put him back on his shelf in the living room, and he's been there since, but when I got back from church, another strange occurrence: There's a new account on our computer called "Nelson." It's not password protected, so I logged on. Mozilla was open to the expedia.com website.

For now, I'm going to keep an eye on him. If he goes somewhere I want to know where, and who he's with, or at least that he's with someone who will make sure he is safe.

question: what's Nelson up to?

mompoet - paying attention

Nelson's Epiphany - part 2

Nelson came home Sunday from a Saturday night sleepover at Auntie Myrna's. He brought my leftover pear cider (you shouldn't have!) and Tallulah (welcome home, both of you!) and a note that read:

There's something I've been meaning to tell you...

And here's how Nelson looked after his night at Auntie Myrna's.

question: d'ya think?

mompoet - Thank you Myrna, for providing a safe place for Nelson to be his true self. Thanks also for encouraging him to tell us.

ps - Can I borrow that claw polish sometime?

pps - Now I'm wondering about Tallulah? Is she really...

Nelson Noel

Fiona sewed Nelson a hat for Christmas.

question: will Nelson go anywhere for Christmas vacation?

mompoet - glad to be home, but thinking that Nelson likes adventure in faraway places

where in the world

I have been considering where in the world the rat should go:

He could go to Brazil but people would say he's nuts.
He could go to Turkey but he's too chicken.
He could go to Istanbul but we already talked about that.
He could go to Syria but he refuses to take anything seriously.
He could go to Venice but he's afraid of root canals.
He could go to Madrid, but he'd have to buy a bolero.
He could go to Hollywood but he'd have to buy botox.
He could go to Disneyland, but he'd end up in a turf war with that mouse.
He could go to China but it's just too darn big.
He could go to Monaco but it's just too darn small.
He could go to France. It's just right, and good cheese, but too hot in Paris in November.
He could go to Kenya but he's afraid of getting trapped in a Killing-man-jar-o.
He could go to Australia but he's afraid of being mistaken for an underachieving kangaroo.
He could go to Japan but he would get an inferiority complex.
He could go to Germany but he's too messy and unfocussed.
He could to to Holland but he just wouldn't get it.
He could go to Belgium but those hedgehogs...ewww.
He could go to Bolivia but he might get a nosebleed.
He could go to Antarctica, but it's been done.
He could go to Samoa but his ankles are too thin.
He could go to Egypt but he's afraid of the sphynx.
He could go to Scotland but he's still insecure about his pronunciation of the word "scone."
He could stay in Canada, but that's pretty predictable.
He could start close to home then branch out.
This week...Nelson....next week: Eritrea!

In the summertime, all of the hitchhikers in the interior have signs with the name of the BC counterculture mecca: Nelson. I'm going to send him to Nelson. If it works out, he'll hitch a ride somewhere else. If not, Nelson's a pretty good place for a rat.

question: where oh where?

mompoet - the untravelled

More news from Nelson

Nelson emailed to say that he's home from PEI, bunking just up the street with Cathy until his jetlag feels better. He sent me a few more photographs of his Prince Edward Island adventure. It looks like he had a lovely adventure.

question: if you were Nelson, where would you like to travel?

mompoet - Thank you Cathy!