Too darn much

I am forcing myself to stay home this morning until 8:30. Work has been over-the-top crazy for a couple of weeks now and will be for two more weeks then it's my vacation. After two weeks away I will return to a world transformed. August is quiet at the office.

Working in recreation programming I am always 6 months ahead of myself for planning. For example, with my team I am just putting the finishing touches on programs for September-December. I am also leading the development of our operating budget for 2005. This is an extra project, which is fun for me (remember I love spreadsheets and math problems attached to large amounts of money and also helping people who are intimidated by them to do a good and confident job) but more pressure. Good planning makes for quality service and that happy feeling that everything is running the way it should, when it finally gets around to running.

At the same time, I have to be in the moment and warm-fuzzy type professional, the way rec people are. So I'm helping summer leaders who got the wrong size t shirt and parents who are worried that their child might not want to go out in the canoe and teens who left it to the last minute to sign up but really want to volunteer all summer. As well, I'm on the team that's running the leader in-service training this week. That's 100 staff, mostly university students, all coming togethe to get dipped in our philosophy, practices and resources and ready to go next week leading camps and playground drop-in services. The training school started yesterday and concludes today. It's conference style with guest speakers, breakout sessions and a really fun "Amazing Race" type team event running through both days. It's pretty complicated, and for all but one of us it's our first time running a multi-activity conference, but it's turning out very well. The proof of the pudding is that we already want to work together on this job next year. Once you figure out how to do something it feels great to do it again. Kind of like having the second baby. There's a big element of "next time I'll know I can do this without killing someone, so I'll actually enjoy it."

Layered on all of this is family life: recitals, and karate gradings and teacher gift-buying and awards ceremonies and pre-planning of the mid-summer birthday party and everything else.

I talked to my friend Robin yesterday. She suggested that the busy-ness of times like this might be addictive, so that when a chance for repose comes along we actually resist it because our brains become acclimatized to a higher level of stimulation. When we slow down it really feels like physical withdrawal.

So this morning I'm testing it. I have to be at the Arts Centre at 9. Now it's 20 to 8. I have wet hair. I'm wearing pajamas. I will not go to my office at 6:30am like I did yesterday. I will arrive at 9:05.

My name is mompoet - I am not a stress bunny

question: can I resist the adrenalin lure of being indispensable?

mompoet - not a stress bunny