better

Thank you to everyone who has been lifting things and taking over chores that I usually do (mostly my husband and kids). My back is feeling better. I am standing up straight again, and moving slowly still, but no longer like the troll woman who lurched home with Kirsi on Saturday evening.

I know I didn't have to, but I baked 2 pies on Sunday afternoon, in preparation for the dinner that my mom cooked for all of us. Strange to say, the pie baking actually made my back feel better - or at least my back felt better after I baked the pies.

question: is there something you do (seemingly unrelated to the problem) that makes you feel better?

mompoet - finding "BOING" again

ouch

I hurt my back yesterday. I have this old lower back injury from when I was about 20 years old. It first developed when I was teaching fitness like a maniac - Jane Fonda style. Throughout my twenties and thirties it flared up from time to time when I was stressed or tired or for no real reason whatsoever. It has not happened in a few years. Anyway, on Saturday afternoon, for no real reason whatsoever - TWANG! Now I'm hobbling around with my whole back in muscle spasms. I'm taking Robaxicet and using my magic wheat bag heated in the microwave, and not lifting anything. It hurts like the dickens.

I know that I will feel better tomorrow, and even better the next day. In the meantime, Mom is making the turkey for tonight's supper so I'm sure I can make it. Andy and Alex and Fiona are doing the dishes and bringing me stuff. I went for a walk down to Myrna's last night. Kirsi carried my wine and my magic bag, which was nice. She also made fun of me and said, "Look at me, I'm the gimp woman. I'm the troll!" Which made me stop walking and laugh so hard I nearly peed my pants. Unfortunately, I cannot walk and laugh at the same time right now. Fortunately, I still have bladder control, so I did not pee my pants. The laughter cheered me up.

Actually, I am not feeling glum about this because I know it's temporary, and it is forcing me to slow down this weekend, which is good. I am not good at slowing down, so I figure maybe this is for some good reason, although I could do without the excruciating pain part.

question: do you have a part of you that stops working when life gets to be overwhelming?

mompoet - the gimpy troll woman from Port Moody

hip flask

I need a hip flask for costume that am planning for the Dead Poets' Slam at Vancouver Poetry Slam. I don't own one, so I decided to call my friends and ask to borrow one.

I thought about my friends, and decided to phone them in order of likelihood of owning a hip flask.

#1 - Michele
Michele answered the phone and we chatted a bit. Then I told her she is at the top of my list of friends who might own a hip flask - does she have one? She answered no, but she knows that I once owned a hip flask. I had forgotten that. But I could picture it when she told me. It was plastic, with a brassy lid, and a leather carrying case. Thinking about it, I think it was more of a purse flask. Thinking more about it. I remember - Michele gave it to me for my birthday when we were teenagers. Well. I thanked Michele, and told her I was somewhat disappointed that she, of all people, did not have a hip flask. She said she would take that as a compliment.

#2 - Myrna
Myrna was not home. I left her a voicemail explaining that she is number 2 on my list. Please call me.

#3 - Kirsi
Also not home. Left a voicemail.

#4 - Cathy
Cathy is the one who I predicted as the surprise owner of a hip flask. She is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know, so good in all ways. But sometimes she surprises you with what she knows. Cathy was not home. Her son told me that she was out for the evening with her Mom, who is visiting from Prince Edward Island. I phoned Cathy's cell phone and left a voicemail asking if she has a hip flask.

#5 - Cynthia (Cathy's Mom from PEI)
I added in my voicemail that if Cathy doesn't have one, maybe Cynthia does. You never know.

#6 - Kathy
Kathy went to school with Michele and me. She told me that she doesn't have a hip flask, but maybe her husband does. She asked him and he said no, he does not have a hip flask.

All this time, Andy is telling me I don't need to phone around, because I can get a hip flask at the dollar store. He's seen them there. Fiona tells me I don't need to phone around because I can get a hip flask at the costume store also.

Ok, okay, I know. I'm having fun with this, so let me phone.

About this time I post a new status line on facebook.

I need to borrow a hip flask for the dead poets' slam on Monday at Cafe Deux Soleils - so far none of my friends have one (or at least they won't tell me they have one).

I'm waiting for someone to call me back, and in the meantime loading the dishwasher and baking a birthday cake for my mom (who I am sure does NOT have a hip flask), when the doorbell rings. It's Rhonda, from next door, and she has a hip flask to loan me. It's her husband Chris's hip flask. Thank you Rhonda and Chris!

#4 - Cathy (continued)
Later, I get an email and a facebook comment from Cathy. She has a hip flask for me. She and her husband found it while they were cleaning out a cupboard. I won't go into the details, but it seems like it's something left behind by someone not in their family. Cathy assures me that it is not Cynthia's hip flask (darn, that would have been good if it was). So anyway, now I have 2 hip flasks.

#3 - Kirsi (continued)
About 7:30 the next morning, my phone rings. It's Kirsi. Right away when I answer, she says, "I have always thought it would be very convenient to have a hip flask. That way when I'm out somewhere and I need a drink, I don't have to find a bar." Kirsi has the right idea, but she does not have a hip flask.

#2 - Myrna (continued)
Myrna leaves me a voicemail at suppertime to say that she does not have a hip flask, but she did give one to her friend Cheryl as a gift. If Cheryl still has it, Myrna will ask if I can borrow it. So maybe I have 3 hip flasks.

question: who would you call to borrow a hip flask?

mompoet - drat! I missed Karen! I bet she has one too.

the further adventures of Nelson the rat

Nelson will soon go to Egypt. My friend Diana McNamara told me that her cousin Janet will soon travel to Africa. Janet's husband is running in a cross-desert foot race in the Sahara. Diana told Janet about Nelson, the traveling plastic rat, and Janet invited him to come along.

Diana facebooked me Janet's work phone number and I went to Janet's work yesterday afternoon. She's a hair stylist at Stylin' Divas in Port Moody, which is about a kilometer from my house. So I know that this is in the stars for Nelson to go to the Sahara with Janet.

I bid Nelson farewell in a funky basement salon and left him Janet's care. She promised him that she will take him on a camel ride.

Janet and her husband will be back in early November. I'll post the photos when I get them. Janet says Nelson's pedicure is very nice. I'm hoping that before or after (or during) the trip, he might get styled up by Janet and the ladies at Stylin' Divas. Nelson likes to be styled. Yup he does.

question: have you been to the desert?

mompoet - wishing Nelson a happy time and saying thank you to Diana and Janet

what's cooking

Fiona: Mom, does the fact that your beets smell pretty rancid indicate that they are almost cooked?

Mom: Yup.

Fiona: Thought so.


question: do you eat beets?

mompoet - that's not "rancid" - that's earthy

reunion

Last night I went to my high school 30 year reunion. The members of Burnaby North Class of '79 are 47 and 48 years old for the most part. We have celebrated 10 and 20 years before this. This was the smallest, most casual and friendliest of the gatherings.

I knew that my good friends Kathy and Michele would be there. We have known each other since Grade 4, and are still very much in each others' lives. Our friend Betty surprised and delighted up by attending at the last minute. I met Betty in Grade 7, when I switched elementary schools. At high school, there were friends from both my grade 4-6 and my grade 7 school, so Betty is a friend to Michele and Kathy also. We missed our other good friends, Vic, Jeannie and Denise, who did not attend.

Thirty years later we are all almost 3 times as old as we were when we graduated. There were lots of people who I remembered a little bit, and a few who I remembered very well. Our graduation class was big, so there were people who I didn't know, even when I was at school.
At the reunion, I just walked around introducing myself to people and saying, "Who are you? I am Sue." It was okay when I connected with someone I didn't know or remember, because they also didn't know me, which was kind of funny in an awkward way, but awkward was pretty much the theme of the evening, in a friendly and funny way. I was glad to meet up with some old friends, and to trade stories about high school. I met my old grad partner (we were matched with prom dates by a random draw) and the guy who pulled my hair in English class then pretended it was someone else. None of the hotshot chemistry and math students with whom I competed for top marks and egghead bragging rights were there. Too bad, I would like to know they are living fabulous lives now. I did see some of the fun and funny girls who shared the "not popular but okay with it because popular is stupid," category with me. I talked with the class valedictorian (who beat me and one other girl to be elected for the role because he was both smart and popular - I was just smart, the other girl was popular). We talked about intersecting social sets and the benefits of being at the intersection. I met with athletes who are still athletes and whose kids are athletes, and quiet, shy people who are now at ease in their own skin, chatting casually with people they haven't seen in years. I saw beautiful boys and girls who are still beautiful, and plain Janes and Joes who have blossomed. In general, the women seem to have aged more gracefully than the men, but we all looked pretty good for almost 50 years old. Six classmates have died, which is a shock to know. Forty-eight is far too young to not be alive any more. A few people went outside to smoke pot. A few people got drunk. Mostly we just chatted and laughed and realised that the people who showed up to the reunion were pretty much alike, encountering the middle of life with a few regrets, but also lots of energy and optimism and good things going on. There were no discernible cliques and no apparent drama. Everyone must have been somewhat nervous about attending, but once we got there, it was pretty mellow, and it looked like everyone stayed and mixed. I guess about 120 people were there, and I managed ot talk to maybe half of them. There wasn't anyone who I wanted to get back in touch with who I'm not in touch with already. It was satisfying to find know that the same people I knew then are around now, living interesting lives and interested to know how the others' lives are going.

We joked about being all botox and artificial hips at the next reunion if there is one. I'm guessing we'll still just be us - maybe fewer by the time we're almost 60, all just living ordinary lives and happy to know that others are too.

Michele and I left at about 11:30. I had a good time. I'll go to the 40th if there is one.

question: have you been to a reunion of any kind?

mompoet - wondering at what we have in common with those who shared our paths in the past

contact

This morning's newspaper headline announced that swine flu has come early to British Columbia and advised that health experts are telling athletes and church-goers to revise their practices to reduce physical contact that may spread the virus.

At church this morning, our minister, Julie Lebrun, mentioned the news coverage, and suggested that we each decide how we would like to pass the peace - by handshake, bow or now, or elbow tap, as suggested in the newspaper. I was curious to see what would happen.

At passing the peace time, my friend Karen asked, "do you want to shake hands? or elbow tap?" we tried the latter for the novelty of it, but it was unsatisfactory. I suggested we bump hips. That was more emphatic and also fun. Karen headed down the aisle to bump hips with other congregation members. I decided to follow the lead of each person who greeted me. Some shook hands, some bowed with hands in prayer position - our current practice for those who are vulnerable to infection, or suffering from a cold or other ailment. My favourite was Dorothy, one of the elders of our congregation, and a leader-by-example in everything she does. Dorothy always clasps your hand in both of hers when she passes the peace. She looks you in the eye and gives the warmest, most sincere greeting that you could ever want. Well, today, Dorothy gave hugs, big warm juicy hugs with a "God be with you," right in the ear while she hugged. It felt so reassuring that she didn't think we'd all perish from influenza, just because we decided to make contact with our friends and neighbours at church.

I'm going to follow her lead next week and offer hugs. If I feel sick, I'll stay home. I'll also give only what people want - so there will still be some bowing and nodding, and maybe some more hip-bumps. Those are good too.

question: to what lengths should we go to protect ourselves from the virus that is among us?

mompoet - wondering about the risk/benefit balance of all of this

visiting cousin

Cousin Kirsty is in town from London for a week and a bit more. She's the daughter of Andy's Mom's Scottish cousins Margaret and Phil, who visited with us in July. Kirsty works for St. George's University, and is here visiting high schools here, to make presentations to students who may decide to pursue degrees overseas.

We haven't seen Kirsty since she was 15 years old - about 10 years ago, so it was like meeting someone for the first time. She came for supper Friday. After supper we drove over to Andy's Mom's place, bringing dessert with us. We had a nice visit, and Andy's Mom gave Kirsty a book about the power plant at Stave Falls, where she grew up. On Saturday, we met Kirsty at her hotel downtown, and together we took the Aquabus over to Granville Island. We explored the shops and galleries there and ate lunch at the market, then walked out along the south side seawalk as far as Vanier Park. It was good to get to know our London cousin. She has traveled to many places in the world and has a very interesting job at the university, working to encourage at-risk youth to stay in school and pursue post-secondary education. We compared notes about post-secondary education in Canada and the UK and talked about politics, economics, the environment, religion, social justice... we covered a lot of good territory! Kirsty's co-worker is joining her Monday, and together they will visit Victoria and visit more schools in the Vancouver area as well, so we probably won't see her again before she returns home next Saturday. We feel glad to have spent time with her, and hope to see her again.

I'll post a photo of us together when Kirsty emails it to us - forgot to bring my own camera!

question: who has visited you recently?

mompoet - the world is a small place, with people connecting all over it, all the time

lucky day

October 1 turned out to be pretty nice. I had a good day at work, and a massage on my break! Our massage school students are back, with an outreach clinic offering 1 hour sessions for just $15. The appointments book up quickly, but I managed to snag one each month from now until Christmas. The student who worked with me did some nice things to help my perpetually tight neck and upper back muscles, and instructed me to stretch out my pecs using a door frame as a brace. I should get stronger in my upper back and stretchier in my upper front. That's all.

After supper I drove into Vancouver to take part in a focus group about BCAA. I was invited to do this via the company's website and newsletter. I've been a BCAA member for over 25 years, which is very helpful to me, considering I lock my keys in the car pretty frequently, and I drive an old car that sometimes needs a lift to the mechanic's place. Oh, yes, occasionally I leave the headlights on. Oh well.

So I got to the place, found a parking spot in the dark, in the rain. It's almost 8pm by now and I'm supposed to be there from 8-10pm, but they'll pay me $80 so that's good. I went into the office and signed in. The waiting room is full of people and we're all wearing nametags and just sitting there, wondering what this will be like. Then the receptionist comes up to me and tells me I can go home, and they'll pay me the $80 anyway. Turns out they invite 11 people when they really need 10, in case of a no show. Thursday night at 8pm there were 11 people. Somebody had to go. I won the prize. YAY! So I went home and baked an apple crisp before I went to bed.

question: how is your luck, these days?

mompoet - lucky, lucky, lucky

phew

September is over. What a beautiful, confusing, overwhelming, hairpin-turn time of year. It feels good to ease into October.

At work, I have completed a huge, major, project, and mostly got my fall activities off to a good start. I'm dearly missing my co-worker who is on a five-week European vacation, and grateful for my other co-workers and boss, who are helping me keep going through this busy time. I know things are getting better because I am stopping more frequently to have sincere, friendly conversations and not dreading when the phone rings. You know those days when you're returning a voicemail and find 2 more when you hang up? then your cell phone rings when you are on your landline, and your landline rings while you are eating a carrot at your desk because you don't have time for lunch, then you're on your landline and cellphone simultaneously, while trying to swallow carrot bits without choking, and someone else walks into your office and starts talking while you are on two phones and asphyxiating simultaneously? oh well.

I have been enjoying my walks home from work, which is great relaxation as well as good exercise. We have an eventful weekend coming up, so that is on my mind. Cousin Kirsty is here from England, staying downtown, but coming here for supper Friday, then we'll plan further adventures. My 30 year grad reunion is Saturday evening. Sunday, Fiona and her friends are performing in a family show for the Port Moody Arts Festival. Alex will work all weekend, and Andy is likely to be called in to work too. I just hope we'll have one supper together (Sunday?) and we'll be able to get everyone where he/she needs to go. It's still busy for sure, but not with the emotional wallop of September. We have adjusted.

We're still waiting to find out when the election will be called. My guess is that it will be a by-election, rather than a general election, and that it will be called on the very last day that it legally can be called - October 13. So we'll have an election in November. That will be interesting, with the shelter running at our church that month. I'll have to pace my days - between early morning at the church and evenings helping with canvassing. Thinking about it, I know that it will be tiring but gratifying. It feels good to be able to do something about the world. Zest beats rest most days.

question: how are you at the turn of the month?

mompoet - pondering the next, and the next and the next

granpere's hammer

My friend Michele makes gorgeous metal jewelery in a home workshop. She has tools for grinding, melting, cutting and stamping. I am lucky enough to have a few of the pieces that she has made. Now you can have some too. Check out her website.

question: if you could melt anything and make it into a bracelet, what would you melt?

mompoet - liking the stuff that Michele melts

nesting

I was all set to go to Word on the Street Sunday, then I decided to stay home instead. I love WOTS, and was looking forward to going and enjoying it as an ordinary participant for the first time in years, having given up helping with the Poetry Tent. But Saturday evening I began to get a strong feeling of resistance, and I realised that I wanted to be at home on Sunday. I tried to talk myself out of it: "Come on, it will be a beautiful day. Your friends will be there. Free readings. Thousands of good books and magazines. Come on!" But the feeling just got stronger. I knew that Andy and Fiona would be away all day, taking Andy's mom on an adventure to Stave Lake, where she lived as a little girl. I knew that Alex would be at work all afternoon. I would have the house to myself, and it would be a beautiful day.

So, I went to church in the morning, then came home, changed into my oldest jeans, and stayed home. I made a gorgeous salad for lunch, and read some of Saturday's paper. Then, as soon as Alex left, I put on my iPod and attacked the house. So now the cat box is changed, the floors are vacuumed, there's new shelf liner paper inside the cupboard under the sink, the computer desks are de-cluttered, the living room has been dusted, all of the stuff lining the hallways and stairwells is temporarily out of the hallways and stairwells, there are fresh candles in all of the candle holders, the bed linens have been washed and changed, and the linen closet reorganized (well, the top shelf anyway). There was also a delicious spicy chicken, veggie, rice stir fry for supper and an apple crisp. I am happy about my choice. Something about staying home and tending the house was very satisfying. After a month of pell mell hurry hurry and very little time at home, I got a sense of order being restored. I felt centred and relaxed.

I am not a clean freak in any sense of the word, but the act of organizing, de-cluttering and some cleaning settles me down. Cooking helps too. It's weird, but I have to go with it. Music and solitude help, and I have to be in the mood. The bonus is that our house is cozy and tidy and comfortable, and there are delicious leftovers for school and work lunches this week.

As proof of my sanity, I did not get the bathrooms done or the floors washed, and I do not have a burning desire to complete this part of the task. I am not THAT compulsive.

question: what do you do to shake your whim whams away?

mompoet - I will go to Word on the Street next year.

another splendid salad

I'm still chopping and crunching my way through New York Times food columnist Mark Bittman's "101 Simple Salads for the Season."

Today: I riffed on salad #84 from the Salads with Noodles section - "spring rolls unrolled."

1/2 of an English cucumber - diced small
2 small carrots - grated
1 cup bean sprouts
1/4 tsp grated ginger
1/2 red bell pepper, julienned
2 green onions, sliced
cilantro - whole leaves - as much as you like
4 small rice noodle salad wrap rounds - briefly wetted then sliced
8 prawns, steamed just until pink
chopped roasted peanuts
juice of 1 lime
1/2 tsp toasted sesame oil
1/2 tsp soy sauce
1 tsp Asian sweet chili sauce

Combine the veggies and noodle bits. Mix up the last 4 ingredients for dressing and toss in. Arrange on 2 plates with 4 prawns on top of each salad. Garnish with chopped peanuts.

2 meal-size salads

question: when is "the season" over?

mompoet - loving all of the fresh, crispy, crunchy, green, red, yellow, pink, purple mmmmm

mashed poetics on youtube

Videographer and poet Warren Dean Fulton has posted video of the songs and poems from the Nevermind evening. Here's the song "In Bloom," performed by cover band, Lithium, and my poetic response.

election

Last fall, in our federal riding, MP Dawn Black was re-elected. A few months after the election, Dawn resigned to run for MLA in her local riding, because the incumbent had been diagnosed with cancer, and could not run again. At the time I felt deflated. Here we had put in all of this work to bring back a really awesome MP, then she quits. The feeling didn't last, as we all plunged into the provincial election. Provincial ridings being smaller, we campaigned for our local candidate, and watched Dawn get elected in New Westminster, to the Legislature here in BC. Reflecting now, I think that as good an MP as Dawn was, she's now an excellent MLA, a wonderful representative in Victoria, and a beacon of hope for next time - We need to see her in government again, and I believe we will.

So now we've been waiting to see, federally, if the Conservative government falls and there's a general election, or if we will need a by-election as mandated, to fill that vacant seat in the House of Commons. Looks like the Conservatives made it through without being deposed earlier this month, so a by-election is in the cards for later this fall. This our guy, Fin Donnelly. Alex and I are gearing up to support him in the election. Today, Alex will spend the afternoon doing data entry. With 2 elections in recent months, we have very good stats from canvassing, to help shape strategy through the campaign. It just needs to be feed into the computers, and Alex is very good at that. For me, I'll be out door-knocking again, starting Monday evening. Fin has visited an amazing number of households already - months before any election call. I'll help out by carrying the lists and pamphlets and offering to introduce him to people who answer their doors. I really enjoyed doing this with Shannon Watkins, for her campaign, and look forward to it again this time. Walking and knocking with a candidate is an awesome way to get to know the person who you are working to elect, and also to gauge people's responses to the issues. As a campaign worker, I will spend a lot of time listening, nodding and smiling, and growing to appreciate once again all of the work it gets to get someone elected. On the outside, it looks like a big machine, but working the campaign, it is small, painstaking, and just plain lots and lots of hours and hard work. I love it.

Watch for an election call very soon in this big federal riding that stretches from the Fraser River in New Westminster, up and over the Moody Arm in Port Moody. Look for me knocking at your door, asking if you'd like to meet your NDP candidate, Fin Donnelly. Watch for more blog posts. It's election time.

question: have you campaigned for a candidate or a cause?

mompoet - inside the machine

malarkey

Here's Joe Biden talking to seniors in Maryland about medicare, death panels and the Obama plan for universal health care.

question: how can people believe that health care for everyone is a bad thing?

mompoet - grateful for Tommy Douglas's legacy

nevermind

Mashed Poetics was a great show. We got to the Cottage Bistro around 9pm, just as the audience was leaving from the comedy show that was in before us. I arrived with Helmi, who drove out from Whonnock to attend the show. She is awesome! Friends Cathy and Terry arrived soon after.

The band, Lithium (Trevor, Clint and Keith), did a great job of performing all of the songs from the Nevermind album. The poets were everything I had hoped they would be - strong, individual voices expressing so many styles and points of view. Duncan Shields opened with a tribute to Kurt Cobain's life and art, inspired by "Smells Like Teen Spirit." Kimothy Shaughnessy got us all to shout, "I'm having a sex change!" in response to "Come as you Are." Nora Smithhisler and her partner (sorry, forgot his name) performed a duet love poem about lovers' dust motes in the bed, inspired by "Breed." Andrea Daniels' surreal response to "Lithium," refracted the tone and spirit of Nirvana's life and lyrics. Warren Dean Fulton ended the first set with a harrowing account of a violent, true abduction story, with a peripheral connection to Nirvana, then recited a short sound poem generated with the help of William S. Burroughs inspired software. Warren says that WS and Cobain corresponded. After the break, RC Weslowski broke our hearts with his take on "Territorial Pissings." Amnesia Jane Smith revealed her playful and dangerous inner monster in response to "Drain You." Su' Cormier's rewrite of "Lounge Act" reminded us of our own stalker moments. CJ Leon flung artful disdain on "Stay Away." Zacc Jackson made a poetic statement on "On a Plain" by not showing up. For a finale, 7 Dollar Bill (Sean McGarragle and Chris Gilpin,) linked Gene Roddenberry and the holodeck to "Something in the Way." Lithium gave us a seemingly coincidental 15 minute blank time then revealed the hidden track, playing us out with the last song of the evening.

My own piece (response to "In Bloom") went over the way I hoped it would. My heart was pounding from the music and my own apprehension about performing something not in my usual style, but I like that experience better than playing it safe. Once I got past the tongue-gymnastics of the second stanza, I knew that I was okay, and I got into the mood of the poem and performed it as well as I knew I could. The audience response was good.

This Mash Up idea is wonderful. Next one is RUSH in January. I won't miss it.

question: can you believe all of the wonderful things under the sun?

mompoet - glad to have a sleep-in morning, and time to reflect on last night

food

I have been eating this salad (or variations) like it's the only best most wonderful thing available:

red, yellow or orange bell pepper
english cucumber
avocado
red onion
tomato
1 fresh lime
olive oil
salt and pepper

chop up the veggies into small bits - you should have enought for 3-4 cups salad
dress with juice of 1 lime and a splash of olive oil
season with s and p

It's really good

my nirvana poem

Tonight I'll be in a show called Mashed Poetics #2 - Nirvana's Nevermind, at the Cottage Bistro on Main Street in Vancouver. The show is at 9:30 (doors 8:30). A band will play all of the songs from the Nevermind album, and poets will perform works inspired by the songs. I drew "In Bloom." Here's the poem that I will bring to the evening:

pretty
pretty
pretty
she sits, still as blank sky
scorned, scarred, ignored, scared
ready to hitch her hopes
to the first dustbowl prophet or
cactus-pawed sandboot hustler who looks her way
without choking
why
why
while she waits
cross-stitches sugarbag homilies
like ANOMIE IS THE ENEMY

he is some affliction
sunset-eyed ambush cat
pole-headed, razor-bucket, daylight glam-bazzler
for a day, or three, she takes him for all that
sweet grass hell-smudge saddle callus
hip as glass-bevel pillow plank
takes her down to the creek to see
pussy
pussy
pussy willow in the marsh
pretty
pretty
pretty

she is his hop-toad guide dog
panting melt-bellied on the floor
dodging boots and table legs
addicted to his clues
which
which
which way now?

in the dark, he whispers
no
no
nobody warm as you
don't ever change
tells herself, she don't believe his
yeah, yeah, yeah
tells herself, she is no
modest proposal
no spider web wedding feast
no house filled with parting gifts
for comfort, cedar chest eiderdown
stuffed with finishing nails and snap turtles
she weeps
soft
soft
soft
he is holding me down
pretty
pretty
pretty

she sits, still as blank sky
ready for
belly bullet blood blossom blue bottle
BAM bath
no
no
no side for taking
no place to hook a claw
toe-holds stuffed full with sad socks
crank-handled spring levers
don't jump
don't jump
don't jump
nothing to push against
just slide to the bottom, it's another day

she remembers
sweet hunger of loving unloveable
sting of self revelation
pretty
pretty
pretty
she sits, still as blank sky
but now, she
rat
rat
rattles, like a penny in a can

september is intense

I am glad I did not say "insane," that being one of my pet peeves (calling anything that is unpleasant or exceptional "insane.") We are 3/4 of the way through the real new year of the year - the time when everyone starts something new, and I am about ready for a rest from the sproingy, demanding, reactiveness of this spring-loaded lollapallooza of a month.

Pause for trivia - blogger's spellcheck corrects my spelling of "lollapallooza" as:

Lollobrigida
Lollard
collapsible
balloonist

Come on - collapsible? from lollapallooza? However, I think I will change my name to "Mompoet Lollobrigida." I like the Lollo part.

Back to topic. September is intense. Well, for starters, the kids are back to school. That's like hitting the structure wall after 8-12 weeks of "whatever." The first week was deceptive but now we're really talking business: homework, assignments, having to get up at 7 in the morning or earlier on an ongoing basis, packing lunches (the kids pack their own so that's more pressure), everyone needing a shower at the same time in the morning at our house. Yes, it is intense.

We have also been experiencing mechanical failures of consistent and grand proportions. Alex's X Box 360, Fiona's iPod touch, my car (first a wee radiator as an appetizer, now the engine - white smoke and herky jerky lurching HEAD GASKET). The bright side is that we are all well. It's just stuff, and it's just money. The people are all okay and the car broke down during the daytime, close to home. We all love each other and we can fix stuff and pay the bills.

Adding to intensity: auditions, fences that need painting, persistent low disc space notices on the computer, my beloved camera making a very sick noise (but still taking pictures - for now) and some extraordinarily busy days at work for Andy and for me. We are ready for a rewind to mid-August if that's possible. Failing that, we will soldier on and get over it, and October will be robust and less intense and just normal fall. Everyone loses his or her cool in a spectacular way at least once in September. Everyone reflects on the meaning of life in September. Everyone has a moment of existential doubt in September. Everyone pushes the restart button in September. Life goes on.

I'm not sure if that expresses it, but that's the best I can do for now.

question: how is your September?

mompoet - trying to remind myself I do not like bland