Saturday, October 10, 2009

hip flask

I need a hip flask for costume that am planning for the Dead Poets' Slam at Vancouver Poetry Slam. I don't own one, so I decided to call my friends and ask to borrow one.

I thought about my friends, and decided to phone them in order of likelihood of owning a hip flask.

#1 - Michele
Michele answered the phone and we chatted a bit. Then I told her she is at the top of my list of friends who might own a hip flask - does she have one? She answered no, but she knows that I once owned a hip flask. I had forgotten that. But I could picture it when she told me. It was plastic, with a brassy lid, and a leather carrying case. Thinking about it, I think it was more of a purse flask. Thinking more about it. I remember - Michele gave it to me for my birthday when we were teenagers. Well. I thanked Michele, and told her I was somewhat disappointed that she, of all people, did not have a hip flask. She said she would take that as a compliment.

#2 - Myrna
Myrna was not home. I left her a voicemail explaining that she is number 2 on my list. Please call me.

#3 - Kirsi
Also not home. Left a voicemail.

#4 - Cathy
Cathy is the one who I predicted as the surprise owner of a hip flask. She is the nicest, kindest, most wonderful person I know, so good in all ways. But sometimes she surprises you with what she knows. Cathy was not home. Her son told me that she was out for the evening with her Mom, who is visiting from Prince Edward Island. I phoned Cathy's cell phone and left a voicemail asking if she has a hip flask.

#5 - Cynthia (Cathy's Mom from PEI)
I added in my voicemail that if Cathy doesn't have one, maybe Cynthia does. You never know.

#6 - Kathy
Kathy went to school with Michele and me. She told me that she doesn't have a hip flask, but maybe her husband does. She asked him and he said no, he does not have a hip flask.

All this time, Andy is telling me I don't need to phone around, because I can get a hip flask at the dollar store. He's seen them there. Fiona tells me I don't need to phone around because I can get a hip flask at the costume store also.

Ok, okay, I know. I'm having fun with this, so let me phone.

About this time I post a new status line on facebook.

I need to borrow a hip flask for the dead poets' slam on Monday at Cafe Deux Soleils - so far none of my friends have one (or at least they won't tell me they have one).

I'm waiting for someone to call me back, and in the meantime loading the dishwasher and baking a birthday cake for my mom (who I am sure does NOT have a hip flask), when the doorbell rings. It's Rhonda, from next door, and she has a hip flask to loan me. It's her husband Chris's hip flask. Thank you Rhonda and Chris!

#4 - Cathy (continued)
Later, I get an email and a facebook comment from Cathy. She has a hip flask for me. She and her husband found it while they were cleaning out a cupboard. I won't go into the details, but it seems like it's something left behind by someone not in their family. Cathy assures me that it is not Cynthia's hip flask (darn, that would have been good if it was). So anyway, now I have 2 hip flasks.

#3 - Kirsi (continued)
About 7:30 the next morning, my phone rings. It's Kirsi. Right away when I answer, she says, "I have always thought it would be very convenient to have a hip flask. That way when I'm out somewhere and I need a drink, I don't have to find a bar." Kirsi has the right idea, but she does not have a hip flask.

#2 - Myrna (continued)
Myrna leaves me a voicemail at suppertime to say that she does not have a hip flask, but she did give one to her friend Cheryl as a gift. If Cheryl still has it, Myrna will ask if I can borrow it. So maybe I have 3 hip flasks.

question: who would you call to borrow a hip flask?

mompoet - drat! I missed Karen! I bet she has one too.


Miranda said...

haha i loved this.
i found your blog from kristy and i have been really enjoying your writing. just thought i'd let you know.


mompoet said...

thanks Miranda - do you have a hip flask?