I will fall

I stayed up late last night watching youtube demolitions
buildings, mostly in eastern Europe
falling, layer by layer
blocky brick mistakes from the sixties
past useful habitation
they go down just as they are meant to

I like to think it will be that way for me
when my time comes
I will drop to my knees in genteel implosion
maintain impeccable posture all the way down
shoulders subsiding ever so slightly
like decks of cards let loose from slack hands
even my dust billows will be discreet
taking care not to impose
as I settle down
down

Sometimes I wonder
are there demolition experts
for dismantling ordinary lives?
who will detect my stress points? weaken support beams?
set blasting caps?
will I be on my own?

I woke up this morning - still here
looked up the names of destruction machinery
excavator
crusher
crane
front end loader
will these be attendants at my demolition?
or will I wait, vacant and derelict, for undetermined months and years?

I remember the time I watched these guys pull down their own carport
the day before the wreckers came
a Sunday afternoon
a case of beer
a pickup truck
I drank wine on my apartment balcony
and watched them hook a rope to the support beams
rev the engine and pull away
I cheered as the roof caved in
raised my glass to the men
who cracked their beers and took sledgehammers to the remaining walls

I like to think it will be such an occasion
the day I fall
I like to think I will weigh one thousand thousand tons
my early morning rumble will wake birds in their nests
observers will remark on the magnificence of my debris pile
all mangled masonry and plaster frosting
gleaners will sift the rubble for any sweetness that remains
someone will cheer
someone will post a video on youtube
someone will write a poem

I like to think that when I fall
you will remember me and tell
how I held straight and true
all the way down


question: have you seen a building come down?

mompoet - mushing metaphorically