Life is still speeding by faster than I can perceive, but I seem to have found a safe and steady current and righted my boat, so the view is less overwhelming and the deliciousness is returning.
I was talking to a friend on the phone last weekend (canceling a meeting I had agreed to, and arranging to have the conversation by phone). I told her I was doing this because I was feeling overwhelmed. I needed to get smaller, quieter, closer, until I could feel more steady and confident again. She said that she understood, that it was a relief to know that others feel this way too sometimes.
I wonder why we spend our lives trying to look "just fine," even when we aren't always "just fine." I know if we all walked around moaning and groaning about every worry and irritation we'd be bogged in misery. Still, it is a good and friendly thing to admit it when we are feeling like we can't cope. Ask for help or sympathy or a reprieve from overwhelming commitments and we will be met with compassion and a feeling of fellowship.
In my neighbourhood, it is considered a compliment to invite a friend into your house when your house is a mess. By doing so, you say, "You are my friend. I trust you. You can see my mess and still be my friend just the same." It would be good if we could get better at revealing our messes of the psyche and soul sometimes. It would lower the bar for personal perfection and on-top-of-it-ness among friends. That would be good. We would all be allowed to be a little less secure, and we could take turns leading and nurturing. I would like that.
question: do you suppress your yelps of anguish? or let them out?
mompoet - practising the yelp with friends who I trust