Tuesday, December 11, 2012


I subscribe to Groupon and Swarmjam. Both companies send me a daily email, offering online deals on goods and services. I have bought a few Groupon deals and have really enjoyed them: dance classes (for Fiona), restaurant meals, admissions to attractions, and even kayaking sessions. I have not bought anything from Swarmjam, but I love looking at their emails. The stuff they offer is just so darn weird. Here's a selection of things I have not bought from Swarmjam:

  • 14 carat plated gold evil eye and receiving hand bracelet
  • motivational self help book "If Only I'd Said That, Volume VI"
  • my choice of bean bag chair (as opposed to a randomly imposed bean bag chair)
  • bikini wrap dress
  • coloured hair extensions
  • temporary eye rock crystals (I don't even know what that is but it sounds like it hurts)
  • three whole body vibration sessions (WHOO!)
  • woman's sheepskin leather touchscreen gloves (can I combine that with the previous offer?)
  • three collagen eye renewal treatments
  • vegan eco-friendly footwear
  • pet teeth cleaning and polishing
  • memory foam bath mat
  • radio controlled stunt car
  • automatic tweezers
  • air assault Halloween fireworks
  • 12 logo cookies of your favourite team or character
  • 2-night romantic getaway in Victor (Oh, sorry, that was Victoria)
  • evening with Jamie Lee Curtis (better than Victor, anyway)
  • 5 24-karat gold facial masks
  • bra washing ball
  • 30 days of raspberry ketone pills
  • dog adventure hikes
  • custom made earplugs
I usually WHOOP with laughter when I get a Swarmjam email. It's free to subscribe, and they keep sending them even if you never buy anything. It's like those joke a day sites, only it's so unintentionally funny that I am addicted to it.

question: If I were to buy one thing from that list for your Christmas present, which should it be?

mompoet - HA!

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