swarmjam

I subscribe to Groupon and Swarmjam. Both companies send me a daily email, offering online deals on goods and services. I have bought a few Groupon deals and have really enjoyed them: dance classes (for Fiona), restaurant meals, admissions to attractions, and even kayaking sessions. I have not bought anything from Swarmjam, but I love looking at their emails. The stuff they offer is just so darn weird. Here's a selection of things I have not bought from Swarmjam:

• 14 carat plated gold evil eye and receiving hand bracelet
• motivational self help book "If Only I'd Said That, Volume VI"
• my choice of bean bag chair (as opposed to a randomly imposed bean bag chair)
• bikini wrap dress
• coloured hair extensions
• temporary eye rock crystals (I don't even know what that is but it sounds like it hurts)
• three whole body vibration sessions (WHOO!)
• woman's sheepskin leather touchscreen gloves (can I combine that with the previous offer?)
• three collagen eye renewal treatments
• vegan eco-friendly footwear
• pet teeth cleaning and polishing
• memory foam bath mat
• radio controlled stunt car
• automatic tweezers
• air assault Halloween fireworks
• 12 logo cookies of your favourite team or character
• 2-night romantic getaway in Victor (Oh, sorry, that was Victoria)
• evening with Jamie Lee Curtis (better than Victor, anyway)
• 5 24-karat gold facial masks
• bra washing ball
• 30 days of raspberry ketone pills
• dog adventure hikes
• custom made earplugs

I usually WHOOP with laughter when I get a Swarmjam email. It's free to subscribe, and they keep sending them even if you never buy anything. It's like those joke a day sites, only it's so unintentionally funny that I am addicted to it.

question: If I were to buy one thing from that list for your Christmas present, which should it be?

mompoet - HA!