cleaning house - response to fernando's burrito

my vacuum cleaner
cleans floor
like a
teenager
cleans bedroom

45 minutes
of angry smelly
injured cursing
like
I just asked it to
hijack the mail truck
to the children's hospital
or tell an untruth
on its
twitter feed

it picks up nothing
kicks through
the stuff on the floor
picks up nothing
shouts about stuff
I must have taken
and hidden
(like I would have
any reason to
take and hide
its stuff)
it picks up nothing

finally
finds one thing
it wants
takes it to another room
drops it there
complains
it is too full
too hot
too tired
too busy
too teenager
to actually suck
at anything

I pick up that this is a time
to pick my battles
and retreat
for now
wondering
is this a stage
or a permanent disability?
is it my fault
that my vacuum cleaner
won't suck?

It's only the bedroom
we can close the door
I'm not resentful

but for now
I will not call it a vacuum
I will call it a vacum
because it doesn't pick up anything
it doesn't suck
and it doesn't deserve
to have the letter u
twice in its name